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WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH A “LOOSE” VAGINA?
I’m a 69-year-old woman, 15 years divorced. I dated a few men after my divorce, but no one for the past decade. Now that I’m looking at my future, I’m afraid of my increasing loneliness and thinking it’s time to start dating again. But the older I get, the more insecure I feel about my body. My skin is too loose, my stomach too droopy, my breasts too floppy…
My ex-husband never tired of criticizing me about my weight. He also complained my vagina was so loose he couldn’t feel it. One of the men I dated after my divorce was smaller-sized and I worried that I was disappointing him by being too slack. He said I was perfect for him, but I think he was just trying not to embarrass me. My gynecologist has since confirmed that I have virtually no vaginal muscle strength. I cannot squeeze anything at all. I self-pleasure with penetrative vibrators, but they feel like they’re swimming in there. I’ve tried Kegels, but it’s been a long time since I’ve bothered since they don’t seem to do anything anyway. I also experience vaginal dryness and I’m embarrassed about that.
I feel defective and stuck. How can I move forward—or should I just look for men who are no longer interested in sex —Too Loose
Joan Price Responds
You’re not defective, and you don’t need to give up on sex and an intimate relationship. Your problem is quite common and it’s fixable! But first, let’s look at the messages that we all get about our aging bodies.
Our society reinforces the attitude that older bodies have aged out of sexiness. But we don’t have to accept that message any more than we have to accept what older people are “supposed” to wear, say, or do. Feeling free to enjoy sex at our age is far more important than what we weigh or how tightly our vaginas can squeeze.
I understand that the anxiety about vaginal looseness is a difficult insecurity to overcome, especially when your ex-husband spent years making you feel inadequate about your vagina and your body weight. You might want to consider counseling to help push away his negative messages..
Part of your husband’s perception might have been because of issues of his, not yours. In general, vaginas have the capacity to expand and contract as needed “Typically, when a man complains about a ‘loose vagina,’ it is actually because he has trouble with sensation, not that his partner is too loose,” Ellen Barnard, M.S.S.W., co-owner of A Woman’s Touch Sexuality Resource Center says. “He may have gotten used to a tight grip because of how he masturbates, or he may have diabetes or another condition that makes his nerves less sensitive.”
However, in your case, you say that you’re now not able to squeeze the muscles of your vagina, which may indicate Low Tone Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (weakness of the pelvic floor). Another sign is if you lose a bit of urine when you sneeze or cough. Weak pelvic floor is a common condition, and there are experts, called Pelvic Floor Therapists, who will work with you on getting your pelvic floor muscles back into shape. Barnard recommends asking your primary care physician or OB/GYN for a referral. If there’s an education-based sexuality shop in your area, they may have a list of recommended PFTs in your area. You can also use the locator at the nonprofit Section for Women’s Health or that site’s listings, or Google “pelvic floor rehab program” + your city.
Many of us think we know how to do Kegels, but we may not be doing them correctly. Here’s how A Woman’s Touch describes the process, using your fingers for feedback:
Wash your hands and have lubricant within reach.
Lie down on your back in a comfortable place with your knees bent. Lying down takes the weight off your pelvic floor and leads to earlier success.
Coat your finger(s) with lubricant. Insert your finger(s) about 2 inches into your vagina.
Contract your pelvic floor muscles. It will feel like you’re pulling up and in toward your belly button. Don’t push out. You should feel a gentle tightening around the finger(s). Try to keep your leg, buttock, and abdominal muscles relaxed, and remember to breathe normally throughout the exercise.
Hold the contraction for a count of 5. (Remember to breathe!)
Relax your muscles.
Important: After each contraction, take a deep belly breath. Inhale deeply and gently blow out the air while you relax your pelvis completely. This deep relaxation is just as important as the other steps, because the deep belly breath relaxes the muscles that are not under your conscious control.
Congratulations, you have just done one Kegel.
Why images of decapitation? This is to show that some people have real problems. Other than the issues of feminism, such as sexist language or manspreading.
Will Terrorists Soon Be Using Weapons of Mass Destruction?
March 23, 1999 - There is increasing evidence that terrorist attacks of tomorrow could include the use of poison gases, deadly bacteria, or crude nuclear weapons. This is the major finding of a new book by one of the leading experts on weapons of mass destruction, Council on Foreign Relations Fellow Jessica Stern. This conclusion is backed up by evidence, studies, and interviews.
Sounding what former Secretary of Defense William J. Perry calls "a wake-up call for all Americans," and former National Security Adviser Anthony Lake terms "an important alarm [that he hopes] is widely heard," Dr. Stern warns that the 21st century could witness low-technology terrorist attacks employing chemical, radiological, or biological agents. While the likelihood of mass-casualty attacks is low, governments cannot afford to ignore the danger.
In The Ultimate Terrorists, Dr. Stern cites recent developments that have contributed to this new terrorism:
-- New motivating factors, such as religious conviction or apocalyptic beliefs, have created a new breed of terrorists, unconstrained by traditional ethics or political pressures.
-- The break-up of the Soviet Union has brought nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons components onto the black market and has rendered former Soviet scientists desperate, some of whom may be a source of expertise for terrorists.
-- The Internet is making weapons-related information more accessible to terrorists, including weapons design and poison manuals.
-- Advanced industrial societies are particularly vulnerable to weapons of mass destruction, which are most efficiently used against people living in high concentration.
Drawing on both her Council research and her experience working with the White House to prevent nuclear terrorism, Dr. Stern explains the motivations of terrorists, points out specific circumstances that threaten safety, and offers steps the U.S. and other governments can take to prevent attacks and to mitigate the damage of those that occur. She also discusses the reasons poisons and nuclear materials inspire hysteria among the populace, and how to prevent the public panic that could be as dangerous as an actual attack. Finally, Dr. Stern discusses the need to improve public safety without compromising basic constitutional rights, such as freedom of expression.
Jessica Stern is a Fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations in Washington, D.C. She is a former director of Russian, Ukrainian, and Eurasian Affairs at the National Security Council.
The Council on Foreign Relations, founded in 1921 and based in New York, is a national nonpartisan membership organization and think tank dedicated to fostering America’s understanding of other nations through study and debate.
95 percent of the victims of work accidents are men. Because women are cowards, and just want to rule from behind.
Saudi Police Crack Ethiopian Prostitution Ring, Distilleries
Saudi police busted an Ethiopian prostitution ring and two distilleries in Riyadh, a newspaper reported Friday.
The prostitution ring was headed by an Ethiopian "infected with AIDS" and two of his brothers who employed several female compatriots in a brothel which also housed a distillery for the illegal brewing of alcohol, Al-Riyadh said.
The Ethiopian had previously been expelled from Saudi Arabia for pimping but managed to return on false papers, the paper said.
The police bust a second distillery run by four Indians with no residency papers and seized pornographic films on the premises, it said.
Authorities arrested last December 29 African prostitutes, some of them with AIDS, who entered the oil-rich Gulf state under the guise of pilgrims to Mecca - RIYADH (AFP)
You have to understand the mentality of Hong Kong businessmen. They exploit their workers harshly, trick their suppliers when they lower their guard, cheat their customers on every occasion, and then spend their earnings on prostitutes
Has the Normalizing of Pedophilia Begun?
CNN hosts scientist who sympathizes with child predators claims 'brain's wiring' to blame
Do people who rape children, or fantasize about sexually abusing them, deserve sympathy – because they were born with the brains of pedophiles?
That’s the question a prominent scientist and a well-known anchor at CNN have asked in the wake of the recent Jerry Sandusky scandal.
CNN recently featured a story by James Cantor, a homosexual psychologist and scientist at the Sexual Behaviors Clinic of the Center for Addiction and Mental Health who serves as associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Toronto.
“It appears that one can be born with a brain predisposed to experience sexual arousal in response to children,” he wrote in his CNN piece.
He continued, “Cases of child molestation that involve long strings of victims over the course of years illustrate what can happen when someone gives in to, or outright indulges, his sexual interests, regardless of its potential damage on others. It is those cases that dominate headlines and provoke revulsion toward pedophiles.
“But they are rare. An untold number of cases merit sympathy.
“The science suggests that they are people who, through no fault of their own, were born with a sex drive that they must continuously resist, without exception, throughout their entire lives. Little if any assistance is ever available for them.”
According to the American Psychological Association, Cantor is passionate about the neurological underpinnings of sexual behavior and jokes, “I feel lucky to have found a way to stimulate my brain intellectually by indulging myself in thinking about sex all the time.”
He has studied the brains of male pedophiles using magnetic resonance imaging. Cantor explained his findings:
“Pedophilic men have significantly less white matter, which is the connective tissue that is responsible for communication between different regions in the brain. Pedophiles perform more poorly on various tests of brain function, tend to be shorter in height and are three times more likely to be left-handed or ambidextrous (characteristics that are observable before birth). Although nonbiological features may yet turn up to be relevant, it is difficult, if not impossible, to explain the research findings without there being a strong role of biology.”
He explains, from his experience with such individuals, that pedophiles act on their sexual urges and molest children “when they feel the most desperate.”
“Yet, much of what society does has been to increase rather than decrease their desperation,” he wrote.
In the U.S., Cantor notes, the focus tends to be on punishments invoked after sex abuse has taken place – rather than implementing social policies aimed at prevention.
“If it is the brain’s wiring that ultimately determines who will go on to develop pedophilia, can we detect it early enough to interrupt the process?” he asks. “Until we uncover more information, we will do more good by making it easier for pedophiles to come in for help rather than force them into solitary secrecy.”
Meanwhile, a CNN anchor chimed in to express sympathy for Sandusky, who was found guilty on 45 of 48 child sex-abuse charges after he molested at least 10 boys over a period of 15 years.
CNN’s Don Lemon, an open homosexual who has revealed he was molested as a child, interviewed Cantor about his findings. In that segment, he said:
“I know people are going to send me a lot of hate mail for this. I’ve never been one to take glee in anyone’s demise, and when I saw Jerry Sandusky walk out in handcuffs, I did kind of feel a bit sorry for him, even though I know the jury found him to do some horrific things, I was like ‘His life is over.’ All of these young boys, it was terrible for them as well. There are no winners.”
Meanwhile, some experts warn of a highly controversial campaign in recent years that seeks to sympathize with – and even normalize – pedophilia.
Just last year, Dr. Judith Reisman, the principal expert investigator for a U.S. Justice Department study on child sex abuse, said pedophilia advocates are using the same strategy that was successfully employed to make homosexuality a classroom subject for small children in the nation’s public schools.
As WND reported, Reisman attended a symposium held by the “minor-attracted people” advocacy group B4U-ACT to disseminate “accurate information” on the position that pedophilia is just one more alternative sexual orientation.
“If a foreign country came in and did this to our nation, the nation would be outraged,” Reisman said about the B4U-Act event, also attended by J. Matt Barber, vice president of Liberty Counsel Action.
The speakers urged the removal of pedophilia from the American Psychiatric Association’s list of mental defects in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Reisman explained the same strategy was used by homosexual activists in the 1970s when same-sex attractions were removed from the APA’s list of disorders. Eventually, the legalization of “gay marriage,” the mandatory homosexuality lessons in public schools and the policy of allowing open homosexuality in the U.S. military resulted.
“Dr. John Sadler (University of Texas) argued that diagnostic criteria for mental disorders should not be based on concepts of vice since such concepts are subject to shifting social attitudes and doing so diverts mental-health professions from their role as healers,” the B4U-ACT organization said in a report about its symposium in Baltimore.
Another celebrity was Fred Berlin of Johns Hopkins who argued in favor of “acceptance of and compassion for people who are attracted to minors,” the report continued.
The report pointedly referred to “minor-attracted people” in reference to pedophiles and explained that the concerns can be resolved with “accurate information.” Richard Kramer, who represented B4U-ACT at the event, contended listing pedophilia as a disorder stigmatizes the “victims” of the lifestyle choice.
According to Barber, conference speakers said the Diagnostic Manual should “focus on the needs” of the pedophile and should have “a minimal focus on social control” rather than a focus on the “need to protect children.”
Barber, an ardent advocate for Judeo-Christian values and the traditional family, told WND the symposium was “the North American Man-Boy Love Association all dolled up and dressed in the credible language of the elitist Ph.Ds.”
NAMBLA openly advocates the legalization of sex between adults and children.
“This is a bunch of morally relative, highly educated people in the mental health community who are trying to achieve the ultimate in tolerance,” Barber said. “These are the people who are the disciples of Alfred Kinsey.”
It was in the 1940s and 1950s that sex “researcher” Kinsey published his writings ridiculing marriage, fidelity and chastity and preaching widespread sexual experimentation. But according to Reisman’s research, in “Sexual Sabotage,” Kinsey’s “research” was compiled from information frequently obtained from jailed sex offenders and then portrayed as coming from middle-class America.
Barber said the symposium themes became clear quickly:
Pedophiles are unfairly “demonized” in society.
The concept of “wrong” should not be applied to “minor-attracted persons.”
“Children are not inherently unable to consent” to sex with an adult.
“An adult’s desire to have sex with children is ‘normative.'” And the Diagnostic Manual “ignores that pedophiles ‘have feelings of love and romance for children’ the same way adult heterosexuals have for each other.”
Barber noted that self-described “gay activist” and speaker Jacob Breslow said it is proper for children to be “the object of our attraction.” Breslow said pedophiles shouldn’t need to get consent from a child to have sex any more than they would get consent from a shoe to wear it, according to Barber.
Berlin previously reported that 67 percent of pedophiles and child molesters relapse after being treated for the disorder. But the few who didn’t were tracked for a period of only two years, and any recidivism after that was unreported. And Reisman noted that even his success “stories” are anonymous and “wholly unverified.”
In a related commentary on WND, Reisman said, “The APA path to pedophile norms follows the success of the homosexual anarchy campaign. Arguably, the pedophile media lobby directed the passionate boy-boy kisses on the TV series ‘Glee,’ to enable fellow ‘minor-attracted persons’ to increasingly be seen as a boy’s sex ‘friend.’
“B4U-ACT claims to ‘help mental health professionals learn more about attraction to minors and to consider the effects of stereotyping, stigma, and fear.’ While the group claimed they want to teach pedophiles ‘how to live life fully and stay within the law,’ no one suggested how to stop their child lust or molestation,” she wrote.
However, in 2010, when Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, a senior Vatican official, linked homosexuality to child sexual abuse, Cantor rejected the claim that there is any link between homosexuality and pedophilia.
“It’s quite solidly shown in the scientific literature that there is absolutely no association between being a gay man and being a pedophile,” he told CNN.
Once Islamist terrorists have understood that arson is the only weapon they ever need to destroy Europe, they will easily achieve their goal. Forest fires and fires in apartment buildings are easy to initiate and extremely time consuming to investigate. Which would give arsonists the opportunity to act again and again. Time to dispose of investments in urban real estate.
Hyperandrogenemia due to ingestion of Butea superba
Androgen or testosterone is an important masculine hormone. It helps construct the male appearance. Hyperandrogenemia is majorly described in of females with hirsutism, insulin resistance and polycystic ovarian syndrome. However, hyperandrogenemia in males is not frequently mentioned. In this short article, the authors report a case of hyperandrogenemia due to ingestion of Butea superba, a herb found in South East Asia. This is an interesting case of hyperandrogenemia induced by an external source. The effect of phytoandrogens is also discussed.
The patient was a Thai single male, aged 35 years, without any underlying disease (his basic annual laboratory checkup showed normal results). On presentation, the chief complaint of this patient was a feeling of increased sexual drive. He gave the history of no use of narcotic and regular intake of vitamin and nutritional supplementation. Physical examination revealed no significant abnormality. Laboratory investigations were performed which showed increased dihydrotestosterone (1512 pg/mL, reference value 250–990 pg/mL). The results of other sexual hormone related investigations in this case included dehydroepiandrosterone sulfate 328 ?g/dL, free testosterone 1.7% and sex hormone binding globulin 43.24 nmol/L [no data on follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH) levels]. The diagnosis of hyperandrogenemia in this case was therefore arrived at. Further investigation to find the source of androgen in this case was performed. With complete history taking, the clinical nutritionist could define an important problematic food component, B. superba, a local herb. The patient gave additional information that he had just taken this locally made capsule of this herb for a few weeks because he was suffering from hair loss. This patient was advised to stop ingestion of this herb, and follow-up after 1 week revealed that the patient had no feeling of increased sexual drive and dihydrotestosterone had decreased to normal level.
In general, androgen plays an important role in the sexual drive of males. Decreased androgen level is strongly related to reduced sexual activity and decreased sexual drive. This is a common problem in old males and in cases with erectile dysfunction. In males with the problem of sexual desire, androgen investigation is a useful test. In this case report, the patient also complained of increased sexual desire, which hmight have been due to exogenous hyperandrogenemeia.. Similar to hyperestrogenemia caused due to phytoestrogens, some herbal regimens might contain phytoandrogens that can lead to hyperandrogenemia. In this case, B. superba is the problematic external source of excessive androgen. This plant is considered to be a male potency herb. In animal models receiving this herb, stimulation of sexual organ has been reported. In case of human beings, there is only one previous trial using this herb for treating erectile dysfunction. The effect of this herb is comparable to that of sildenafil. However, there has never been any report on this herb in healthy males. This is the first case report on hyperandrogenemia due to ingestion of B. superba. With the widespread usage of local herbs presently, the effects of herbs need to be considered. Indeed, a previous report also mentioned genotoxicity due to large dosage ingestion of B. superba.
You probably have to look at imagery of death and dying regularly to stay focused on what really counts in life: great sex before you are gone anyway.
Revengeful fathers kill children to punish mum
Men who kill their children do so to punish the mother, experts say, with the final act of revenge often punctuating a history of domestic violence.
Even in cases where there have not been reports of intervention orders, experts are in agreement that a history of violence in the home, combined with a perceived loss of control, drives some fathers to kill their children.
''The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour,'' said Dr Ben Buchanan, of the Victorian Counselling and Psychological Services. ''Physical abuse towards the partner is absolutely a sign of a propensity to use physical force against the children.''
The most recent figures from the Australian Institute of Criminology show there were 22 cases of filicide nationwide between 2008 and 2010.
Dr Buchanan said men who killed their children often blamed the mother for feelings of powerlessness and sometimes believed the children had been ''infected'' by her.
''Our children represent our spouses, they've got that symbolic representation of the mother but they are more vulnerable,'' he said. ''In the cases I've seen, it's very rare for them to blame the children; the children are a proxy by which they're getting back at the mother.''
Domestic Violence Resource Centre senior researcher Deborah Kirkwood said fathers who killed their children ''feel entitled to take their lives because they're his possessions … It's about making the mother suffer.''
Dr Kirkwood, who published a study on parents who kill their children, said filicide usually occurred in the context of a family breakdown.
Dr Kirkwood's research included the cases of Ramazan Acar, who stabbed his two-year-old daughter in 2010, and Arthur Freeman, who threw his four-year-old daughter off the West Gate Bridge. She said controlling behaviour and a history of domestic violence were ''key themes'' in cases of filicide.
''There was either a prior history of violence against the partner before the children were killed or there was violence that occurred around separation, and if there wasn't violence there was often threats of violence.''
No to Violence acting chief executive Rodney Vlais said it was common for men to develop a victim mentality before killing their children. ''They feel they're been hard done by when, in fact, this is not usually the case. It's more often a sense of entitlement and privilege that they have. ''Men can feel so aggrieved in their own warped sense of being the victim that they will punish their partner though killing their children.''
The children are a proxy by which they're getting back at the mother.
Domestic Violence Victoria chief executive officer Fiona McCormack said there was a ''gaping hole'' in the protection system, which was geared towards picking up the pieces. She said at-risk offenders should be monitored, with information shared between child protection agencies, parole officers, and women's and children's services.
''There are agencies coming into contact with these men, but we need them to work together to communicate with each other,'' she said. ''Currently, there's no mechanism to know who else is involved with the family and what else is being done.''
Son gets high, cuts off his own penis
A distraught father says that his son cut off his own penis while high on a potent form of cannabis as a warning about the dangers of the drug.
The unidentified man told the BBC his son “became paranoid” and endured psychotic episodes after smoking the illegal drug.
“He switched from a very bright bubbly lad to … I can only describe him as a waste of space and I’ve had that conversation with him and he understands that,” the father told BBC Radio 5 Live.
“He became delusional, he used to sleep with a tennis racket in his bed because he thought people were living in the walls. I remember one instance he was telling us all about the fact that mermaids exist and it was just a whole tragic trip down a hill.”
Host Emma Barnett asked about a psychotic episode the young man endured in which he cut off his own penis, with the father struggling for words and saying it was “devastating.”
“It was absolutely devastating, you can’t imagine anything of that nature happening,” he said.
“The whole episode was just surreal actually … it was almost as if peering in through a window and it was happening to somebody else.”
His son is still recovering physically with “more operations” to go through but is in “really good form” mentally, having given up drugs and alcohol, he said.
“He actually has no real memory of anything that happened. Maybe that’s for the best.”
Why is sex so important? Because sex builds an immortal individual soul.
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